so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
