just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize