if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
