This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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