Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
