Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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