"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
