If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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