i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
