12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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