That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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