I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
