the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
