Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
