i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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