Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
