; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
