Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
