I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
