Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
