woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
