bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
