he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
