yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
