theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
