omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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