it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
