ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
