Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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