dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
