I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize