You made me cry and you don't even care
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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