I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
