Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
