if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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