Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
