SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
