My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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