I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize