He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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