Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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