if only i could text you this smell
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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