He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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