never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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