this beer tastes like vomit already
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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