You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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