literally had 100 drinks last night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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