I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
