my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
