i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
