It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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