It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
