Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize