Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize