Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
