there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
