Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize