I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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