Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
