She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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