my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
