yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
