I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
