I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
