so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
