Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
