dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
