no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
