I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
