i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sext me about skeletons
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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