A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
