Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My pussy is not your playground.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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